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Fwd: [Humor] Steve Jobs Unveils World's First Gun With Internet Access
  • From: James "Jim" Hatridge <hatridge@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 18 May 2001 16:09:15 +0200
  • Message-id: <01051816091500.00757@Tenn>
>From the Urban Reflex website ( )


Steve Jobs Unveils World's First Gun With Internet Access

In a move that has taken the personal computing industry by complete
surprise, Apple CEO Steve Jobs today unveiled his company's latest
product - a personal firearm with wireless web capability called the iGun.

Described by Jobs as the most radical Apple product ever, the iGun is a
compact, 9mm, single action, semi-automatic pistol that holds a 10-round

It has a central core made of hard-anodized titanium alloy encased in a
shockproof, translucent plastic shell and will be sold in a range of
aesthetically pleasing colours that echo the appearance of Apple's
successful home computer, the iMac.

Apple's new iGun "The iGun combines Apple's belief in outstanding and
innovative yet fun design, with deadly stopping power," Jobs told an audience
of reporters and Apple Mac enthusiasts in Seattle. "No more harsh blacks and
greys. We are bringing life and vitality to these instruments of death," he
said, to rapturous applause and cheering from the crowd.

However, the iGun's most radical feature is the internet access panel
encased in the butt behind shockproof glass. The 4 cm x 8 cm integrated
device can access WAP services as well as providing basic address book and
organiser functions. Future models will be GPRS enabled. The gun also comes
with a USB port for connecting to a laptop or storage device.

Jobs believes the iGun will be the next must-have item for Apple devotees
and gun enthusiasts alike. Initially targeted at younger, first-time buyers,
Jobs hopes the gun's unusual design will also attract older buyers looking
for an interesting addition to their existing collections.

The company CEO delighted the audience by firing several live rounds into
the air then, moments later, logging onto a Yahoo! news site and proudly
displaying the downloaded headline: 'JOBS FIRES GUN AT PRESS CONFERENCE.'

Within hours of Jobs's announcement, Microsoft announced plans to launch its
own personal protection device. Provisionally named the 'Microsoft
media-Truncheon,' Bill Gates described the product as 'the biggest, baddest
stick on the market. It will break bones and crack skulls easily, as well as
play Windows Media Player files.'

A Microsoft spokesman denied the product was a knee-jerk reaction to Apple's
iGun, saying, "This is actually something we've been developing for several

(c) 2001

Jim Hatridge
Proud Linux User #88484
Owner -- beowulf-newbie list

I didn't vote for his daddy either!
Libertarian Party

"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you,
it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun."
~~ The Dalai Lama, May 15, 2001

Jim's Beowulf Project
Looking for giveaway computers and parts
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