<PRE> This one of the many jokes on Microsoft. I hope you like it! </PRE> -- BEGIN included message</EM></P> <BLOCKQUOTE> <UL> <LI>To</em>: <A HREF="mailto:raymond.doetjes@tip.nl">raymond.doetjes@tip.nl</A></LI> <LI>Subject</em>: If microsoft made cars</LI> <LI>From</em>: Jord Visser <<A HREF="mailto:invalid.recipient@mailserv.caiw.nl">invalid.recipient@mailserv.caiw.nl</A>></LI> <LI>Date</em>: Sat, 01 Aug 1998 19:00:46 +0200</LI> </UL> <PRE> He doetjes, Hier weer een leuke.......... -- ============================== Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. Rodin ============================== </PRE> <ADDRESS>Title: <STRONG>If Microsoft built cars</STRONG></ADDRESS> <H1>If Microsoft built cars</H1> <HR> <OL> <LI>Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car. <LI>Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on. <LI>Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too. <LI>You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats. <LI>Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads. <LI>The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower. <LI>The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light. <LI>People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years. <LI>We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb. <LI>New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. <LI>The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. <LI>If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened. <LI>They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it. <LI>There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads. <LI>Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff. <LI>Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM! <LI>If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads! <LI>If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it. <LI>Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked. <LI>You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other. </OL> <HR> <A HREF="index.html">Back to index</A> </BLOCKQUOTE> -- END included message</EM></P>