change out a hard drive on this device in 5 minutes or less. Anyone out there know if there is such a device?

Why don't you try a USB-to-IDE adapter that plugs directly into the drive. http://www.newegg.com/app/ViewProductDesc.asp?description=12-156-001&depa=0 I'm not sure how well it works under linux since this one doesn't explicitly say it works with linux. Christopher Reimer http://www.creimer.ws