Santa Claus is coming to town (BSD style) better !pout !cry better watchout lpr why santa claus <north pole >town cat /etc/passwd >list ncheck list ncheck list cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist cat list | grep nice >giftlist santa claus <north pole > town who | grep sleeping who | grep awake who | egrep 'bad|good' for (goodness sake) { be good } ------- -- Core Dumped Blues Well, my terminal's locked up, and I ain't got any Mail, And I can't recall the last time that my program didn't fail; I've got stacks in my structs, I've got arrays in my queues, I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues. If you think that it's nice that you get what you C, Then go : illogical statement with your whole family, 'Cause the Supreme Court ain't the only place with : Bus error views. I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues. On a PDP-11, life should be a breeze, But with VAXen in the house even magnetic tapes would freeze. Now you might think that unlike VAXen I'd know who I abuse, I've got the : Segmentation violation -- Core dumped blues. ------- Sung to "Pinball Wizard" Unix Wizard Ever since I heard of Unix I've always had a ball, From Berkeley up to Linux I must've run 'em all; But I ain't seen nothing like him On systems large or small That tired, squinting, blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! He sits just like a statue, Like part of the machine, Feeling all the limits, Knows what signals mean, Hacks by intuition, His process never stalls, That tired, squinting, blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! He's a Unix Wizard, I just can't get the gist A Unix wizard's Got such a mental twist. How do you think he does it? I don't know! What makes him so good? Ain't got no distractions, Don't hear no biffs or bells, Don't see no lights a flashin' Ignores his sense of smell, Patches running kernels Dumps no core at all, That tired, squinting, blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call! I thought I was The process table king, But I've just handed My root password to him. Even on my own hot boxes, His hacks can beat my best. The network leads him in, And he just does the rest. He's got crazy Finger servers Never will seg-fault... That tired, squinting, blind kid Sure makes a mean sys call!