On Fri, Feb 5, 2016 at 9:27 PM, James Mason <JMason@suse.com> wrote:
On Fri, 2016-02-05 at 10:48 -0800, PatrickD Garvey wrote:
On Fri, Feb 5, 2016 at 3:55 AM, differentreality <differentreality@gmail.com> wrote:
Hello all,
On Tue, Feb 2, 2016 at 8:28 PM, Douglas DeMaio <ddemaio@suse.de> wrote:
https://en.opensuse.org/images/0/0f/OpenSUSE_Conference_2016_Pros pectus.pdf (ddemaio, 17:05:42)
We must proofread the prospectus before making it public.
The title contains 2015, not 2016.
Under "SPONSORSHIP HIGHLIGHTS"
First bullet: there should be a linebreak before the URL, so it's all on one line, not broken.
"conference.opensuse.org" instead of "… conference. opensuse.org "
Last bullet: "upon request" instead of "under request"
End note: this doesn't make sense to me at all ("Special will be offer due …"; can the author rephrase please?
"GREAT REASONS TO SPONSOR THE openSUSE CONFERENCE"
1st para: The 2nd line of text ("their time and effort to create of the the outstanding") has a lighter font weight than the rest of the paragraph.
Strangely, it's not selectable as part of that paragraph's text either; something's funny with the layout.
Last para: "information" is broken in half at the line break, but there's no hyphen. It needs to be either hyphenated or not broken.
SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES
The graphic evokes a rainbow, but for whatever reason, the 10_000€ sponsorship line is the same lenght as the 1_000€ line; why not just form the full rainbow, let Platinum be bigger than Bronze ?
2nd page has a bunch of lines with mixed weight/unselectable, in the "ThE openSUSE COMMUNITY" and "PARTERS" sections.
THE openSUSE COMMUNITY
This is the only section where the title starts the text. For a transition like that, consider adding an ellipsis, like " THE openSUSE COMMUNITY… is a global community …"
"environment" is broken in half at the line break, but there's no hyphen. It needs to be either hyphenated or not broken.
The note " SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR openSUSE AND THE openSUSE CONFERENCE! " looks odd, with "openSUSE" at both ends of the 2nd line. Can we reword this?
"Financial support…"
First para: The first sentence contains an obvious falsehood - " Financial support … from sponsors is invaluable and crucial. " In fact, it has a very precise, known value - the amount we're asking a sponsor to contribute.
Let's cut the falsehood and just go with " Financial support for the openSUSE conference from sponsors is crucial for the success of the event. "
Last para: guaranteeing is misspelled as "garantueeing".
PARTNERS
First para: The first line has some grammatical errors. Can we reword this? Maybe something like " Besides the general sponsorships, we are offering a few fun partnership options. Give our community ice cream, coffee, or lunch, and your logo and name will be connected to the service, as well as being featured in the partner section of our promotional materials. "
Fourth para: this is an exact duplicate of the "Financial support" paragraph in green on the left column.
-- James Mason Technical Architect, Public Cloud openSUSE Member SUSE jmason@suse.com
Thank you both for the quick input! :) I have started https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vcwhzJ7EA3BwUvv1PhP3BjG9KFGA0DkAHzHUkHyd... I will make sure to add everything mentioned here (probably tomorrow). Moreover if someone has the original text, it could be copied to google docs and we can make the changes directly on it (copying it from PDF is... problematic) Relevant card in trello (feel free to add yourselves): https://trello.com/c/2cbbkvHO/35-proofread-sponsors-brochure Stella -- To unsubscribe, e-mail: opensuse-project+unsubscribe@opensuse.org To contact the owner, email: opensuse-project+owner@opensuse.org