From lavoie@netcom.ca Mon Jun 15 21:07:42 1998 From: lavoie@netcom.ca To: users@lists.opensuse.org Subject: [S.u.S.E. Linux] Windows Error Messages Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 17:07:42 -0400 Message-ID: <199806152111.RAA04811@tor-smtp1.netcom.ca> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="===============5445870220274136938==" --===============5445870220274136938== Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Forgive me if you've seen this before, but I loved it so much, I hjust *had* to share it with a like-minded audience. The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4) Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. 6) Close your eyes and press escape three times. 7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 9) Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 10) This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off." 11) To "shut down" your system, type "WIN." 12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N) 15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 16) Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) 17) Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 18) Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 19) WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS) 20) User Error: Replace user. 21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" 22) Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due... 23) If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have security? 24) Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill your hard drives, the following message is now required as you save your files in Word. "Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential viruses. Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file as a Word file anyway?" 25) Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) Subscribe to daily jokes for free at http://move.to/jokes> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >=20 -- To get out of this list, please send email to majordomo(a)suse.com with this text in its body: unsubscribe suse-linux-e --===============5445870220274136938==-- From roberto@cbvcp.com Tue Jun 16 03:06:47 1998 From: roberto@cbvcp.com To: users@lists.opensuse.org Subject: Re: [S.u.S.E. Linux] Windows Error Messages Date: Mon, 15 Jun 1998 20:06:47 -0700 Message-ID: <3585E147.544E2A97@cbvcp.com> In-Reply-To: <199806152111.RAA04811@tor-smtp1.netcom.ca> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/mixed; boundary="===============8039587618536487753==" --===============8039587618536487753== Content-Type: text/plain; charset="utf-8" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable speaking of widows error messages, i got one when setting up a modem for my mom. im sure most of you can guess which number it was, and i swear that im not making this up. i find it sad, in light of this and the "unable to follow directions" joke in the thesaurus, that people put up with this excuse for a program. Ron Lavoie wrote: > Forgive me if you've seen this before, but I loved it so much, I hjust > *had* to share it with a like-minded audience. > > The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration > for the planned Windows 2000: > > 1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. > 2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. > 3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. > 4) Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! > 5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. > 6) Close your eyes and press escape three times. > 7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. > 8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another > game? > 9) Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" > 10) This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. > Please log off." > 11) To "shut down" your system, type "WIN." > 12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. > 13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. > 14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N) > 15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) > 16) Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) > 17) Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. > 18) Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) > 19) WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS) > 20) User Error: Replace user. > 21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" > 22) Welcome to Microsoft's World - Your Mortgage is Past Due... > 23) If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you > and all your future creations. Doesn't it feel nice to have > security? > 24) Required Government Warning: After we got caught in cahoots > with the hardware manufacturers for trying to needlessly fill > your hard drives, the following message is now required as you > save your files in Word. > "Word has detected that you don't wish to save your text file > as a lumpy and space wasting .doc format filled with potential > viruses. Would you like to save your old outdated ascii file > as a Word file anyway?" > 25) Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles > have been deleted. The police are on the way. > > :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) > :-) :-) :-) > > Subscribe to daily jokes for free at http://move.to/jokes> > > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > -- > To get out of this list, please send email to majordomo(a)suse.com with > this text in its body: unsubscribe suse-linux-e -- Aaron Seelye http://revolution.3-cities.com/~roberto> -- To get out of this list, please send email to majordomo(a)suse.com with this text in its body: unsubscribe suse-linux-e --===============8039587618536487753==--