Yes, you read that right.

I'm using Secure Boot (with the standard setup with the installer wrt the
signing keys). This is all happening on a Dell Latitude E7450.

Using *precisely* the same software choices, an openSUSE install will succeed
but you will be unable to boot into the system (you get dropped into a GRUB
console). Immediately before the GRUB shell, there is a message about "sha256
checksum missing" or something like that -- it's only there for a flash.

My guess is that it's some horrible UEFI bug, since I'm wiping the hard drive
each time I reinstall.

I would hope that you don't need me to reinstall my laptop too many times while
debugging this issue.